Bride Brain

This is what I'm calling the craziness that's going on in my head right now. It really should be classified as a legitimate disease that is spread through placing shiny rings on the third finger of the left hand. Because all I do these days is think about planning a wedding.

I know. I'm driving myself crazy, too!

But what's difficult about it is that I'm trying to plan an affordable wedding. I would not be having issues if I were planning an extravagant bash at any location my little heart desired (a chapel in the Highlands of Scotland). That, my friends, would be easy. But planning an elegant, refined affair on a beer and nachos budget is FLIPPING FRUSTRATING!

My main complaint: venue. If I could just find an affordable (but not cheesy) (or ghetto) (or circa 1975) location that did not force me to use a sub-par (expensive) (tasteless) (limited choices) caterer, I'll be golden. Until that time, I have Bride Brain, and I apologize that I cannot think of other things more interesting to blog about right now. I promise I'll get better soon.

(Maybe.)

(Here's hoping.)

(Oh, and not to mention that alcohol is uber-expensive, too, but that's an entirely different post...)

1 "To-Do" Down, 4,827 More to Go

This weekend was pretty darn exciting. My mom and Cupcake and I planned on meeting in Fort Worth to go look at wedding dresses. I had been chatting with a girl from L.A. about buying her wedding dress, a gorgeous Pronovias, for a very discounted rate. I wanted to go try on the dress first to make sure it would fit before making such a large purchase. (Side note for those not wedding dress savvy: the size of the wedding dress is greatly disproportionate to the size a girl wears in regular clothes. For instance, I wear a 4 in most clothes but in a wedding dress I wear anywhere from an 8 to a 10. It's ridiculous.)

Anyway, so mom and Cupcake and I head to the bridal shop and proceed to try on a billion dresses. Mom and Cupcake arrived before me. A woman greeted them and asked if they had an appointment. We didn't. Evidently, appointments are "preferred" (read: you're sure to go to hell if you don't make an appointment with a bridal shop.) Luckily, the Bridal Shop Gods were feeling benevolent that day and forgave us our sin. These people are far too serious.

Eventually, we were ushered into a dressing room/waiting area. The poor woman attending me, Vicki, was a little old lady with the patience of a saint. I was a good foot taller than her but she heaved those heavy dresses over my head like a champ. It was a little odd, however, when she came into the dressing room with me, handed me a corset bra and ordered me to "strip down and put on the bra."  Er...excuse me? Not even my mother sees "the girls" anymore. But there I was, naked as a jaybird because little old Vicki demanded it.

At first, I chose only Pronovias dresses because they're gorgeous and I was trying them on to see if the one I found online would fit me. It turns out, the online dress would have been a size too small. But when I tried them on I just didn't feel like me in them. And let's not even discuss how expensive they are. So I went back to the racks and started looking at all designers to try to get a sense of what I really wanted. I finally narrowed it down to three: one my mom loved (but I think it was because it was the first dress I put on and so it had an immediate impact), and two others that were champagne colored but very different styles. Of course, I had to try on all three at least two more times to help me decide which one I liked best. Poor Vicki.

Finally, we got it narrowed down to the two champagne dresses, one of which was a Maggie Sottero. I felt like a million bucks in both of them. But I kept looking at the Maggie thinking, "This might be the one." But I couldn't really say it out loud because I wanted to know my mom and Cupcake's true feelings. I put on the Maggie one more time and went out to stand in front of the mirror. All three of us just stood there looking at my reflection. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I said, "I think this is the one."

Suddenly, my mom starts clapping and saying, "Me too!" and Cupcake bursts into tears. Then I start crying. Then Vicki starts crying. And my mom's snapping pictures of all of us crying (you wonder where I get my obsessive need to take pictures of everything?).

Then I turned to Vicki and asked her if I could buy the dress of the rack at a discount. One of the best things about the Maggie was that it was already a very good price. Far less than the one I was thinking of buying online at a discount. But I knew that if I bought off the rack I could possibly get an even better price. And, lucky for me, the dress that I tried on fit perfectly. So Vicki went to ask the store owner and came back and offered the dress for $100 cheaper. I looked to mom who nodded her head vigorously and said, "Let's do it!"

So I bought my wedding dress. At the first shop I went to. During the first day of looking. Holy cow!

But the fun didn't stop there. We then headed to a vineyard just outside of Fort Worth to consider for a venue. It was beautiful and quite reasonably priced compared to all other locations I've looked into so far. I want to take Lobster to see it (he's been out of town since last Tuesday) but I think it will be a top contender!

So that was my weekend. It was so much fun and it will be an amazing memory for me, my mom and Cupcake.

Deep Breath

To say that I am overwhelmed is an understatement.

From the time I was a little girl I dreamed of my wedding. Except for a few bitter years in college and law school, my wedding was one of my biggest dreams. When Lobster and I started to fall in love, that dream started to rise up from the depths of my heart again and I allowed myself to begin hoping that one day it would come true.

Now here we are on the cusp of the beginnings of my dream come true. And I've suddenly come to understand one thing I never realized before in all my childhood fantasies...

Holy mother of pearl, weddings are flippin' expensive!

*Begin Rant*

I mean, really. What makes an empty room with a bunch of tables and chairs worth $3,000 just for the privilege of using it for four hours? And what exactly is it about a white dress that makes it five times more expensive than a dress of any other color? Is it sprinkled with magic fairy dust? Will it make my boobs grow or melt the fat off my hips? Well, then sign me up! Otherwise, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

Maybe this wouldn't be so mind-blowing to me if my parents were taking care of the financial burden of a wedding but I don't expect them to. This is my wedding. Why should my parents go into debt for a one-day event? I think it's ridiculous for ANYONE to pay this much money for what really amounts to a big party. Yes, of course I want all the wonderful things that all other brides want. This is a once in a lifetime deal for me; I want it to be beautiful, I want it to be memorable, I want it to be elegant, I want it to ROCK.

But, it really makes me angry that this whole wedding industry essentially rapes people of their hard earned money by jacking up the cost of everything simply because its a wedding.

So the question is: how do I orchestrate an elegant, beautiful, memorable, rockin', but CHEAP wedding? Is it even possible?

If this is how they want to play, I'll play. I'll put my gameface on. I am not a pleasant person when I have my gameface on. I will take no prisoners. I will not be investing one cent of my hard-earned money until these people, the vendors, prove to me that their location, cake, dress, photos, food, etc. is worth every penny. So far I have seen nothing that has justified such costs.

If all else fails, I am not above taking my money to the nearest tropical island and paying some random preacher to say the magic words.

*End Rant*

Deep breath.

Roommate

Boy am I tired!

This weekend I officially gained a new roommate! Lobster finally moved in and we are so excited! He arrived on Saturday afternoon with a truck full of stuff. We had no idea how much stuff he truly had until it was deposited into every free space in my house! On Saturday we only had a couple of hours to unload the U-Haul before we had to start getting ready to go to Fort Worth for a myriad of celebrations. My dear friend V from *uncorked was in town for a visit and it was my sister, Cupcake's, birthday as well as my dad's belated birthday celebration. We ate our fill of Mexican food, drank our fill of margaritas and stayed out as late as we could possibly keep our eyes open...which turned out to be 11:00. We are some crazy kids! Watch out!

Sunday we slept in because we both needed the sleep. Then we got up and I made a yummy breakfast and then we hit the ground running. Returned the U-Haul after a series of unfortunate directions, unpacked as many boxes as we could until we realized it was dinner time and we were hungry. We gave ourselves permission to stop for the night and instead we enjoyed an excellent frozen lasagna and watched the new animated movie, UP! It was so good and really funny! I recommend it.

After the movie we headed to bed and read for a little while. At one point I looked over at Lobster and thought, "Wow! You're still here!" I don't think it has really hit either of us yet that he's actually here to stay! It still feels like a visit. I am so happy that he's here I can't even describe it.

In other news, I had to drop off my Shiny (and the matching wedding band) at the jewelers to get it re-sized. It's just slightly too big and I kept worrying that it would fall off. It was very difficult to just leave them there and walk away. I don't want to be naked-handed for a week! But I'd rather do it now and be done with it than continue to worry about it slipping off. That would be decidedly worse, don't you think?

Modern Day Fairy Tale

This is a story I wrote a few weeks ago. It just popped into my head one day while I was driving to get my hair done. I started furiously scribbling it down in a little leather journal that I keep in my purse while sitting under the heat lamps with foil sticking out of my head. I'm sure I looked like a crazy person.

I decided to post this story today because it has special meaning. You'll see why I thought it was appropriate to publish it on the blog today at the end of this post...

The Girl With the Texas-Sized Heart

by CJR

Copyright 2009

Once upon a time there was a girl with a Texas-sized heart. Ever since the Girl was very little, she dreamed of finding her One True Love and she hoped and wished and prayed very hard so that she might find him.  As the Girl grew, she gathered all her Hope and stored it away in her Texas-sized heart for safe-keeping.

One day when the Girl was a little older, she met a boy whom she thought was her One True Love.  With joy, the Girl carefully wrapped her Texas-sized heart filled with all her Hope and presented it to the Boy.  The Boy accepted her heart hastily and with the greedy foolishness that Boys sometimes have around a Girl with a Texas-sized heart.  But a little while later the Boy changed his mind and sheepishly gave back to the Girl her Texas-sized heart filled with all her Hope.  But the Girl, frozen with sadness and fear, did not reach out in time and her Texas-size heart filled with all her Hope fell to the hard ground, shattering into pieces, all her Hope leaking out and draining away.

Using as much strength as she could muster, the Girl gathered up the broken pieces of her shattered heart, now empty of all her Hope, and did her best to mend it.  Try as she might, she could not seem to mend her heart as it had once been; for you see, a heart that has lost all of its Hope quickly turns to ice.  Dismayed, the Girl took her now icy Texas-sized heart and stuffed it deep down inside herself where she thought that no one would be able to hurt it again.

For many years the Girl tried to live a normal life while ignoring the heaviness of her icy Texas-sized heart.  Every now and then, when the Girl found a safe place and a quiet moment, she would carefully take out her Texas-sized heart from where it was hidden and the Girl would try to feed little bits of Hope into it.  But he ice was still too thick and the tiny slivers of fiery red Hope just got wedged into the small fissures and cracks of the ice, never reaching the center of the Girl’s Texas-sized heart.  Soon the Girl gave up on trying to feed more Hope into her icy heart.

One day, the Girl was busy ignoring the heaviness of the icy Texas-sized heart that had become her burden when she met a Matchmaker.  Of course, the Girl had met many before who had claimed to be Matchmakers, but they had all been frauds.  Naturally, the Girl thought this Matchmaker was just like all the others so she ignored his offers to help her find the one who could help her to un-freeze her Texas-sized heart.  For you see, what the Girl did not know was that the only way for the Girl to mend her shattered, icy heart was for her to meet her real One True Love who could help the Girl find and feed more Hope into her Texas-sized heart.  But the Girl was stubborn from fear and hurt and she told the Matchmaker to leave her be. And he did. Or so she thought.

The Matchmaker, being wise and understanding the burden that was keeping the Girl from finding more Hope, went back to the place where he lived and did the Magic that only Matchmakers could do.  He worked very long and hard and finally, when he was done, he sat back, smiled, and waited for the Magic to begin its work.

Many days passed since the Girl met the Matchmaker and then one day, the Girl met another boy.  He was from a land far away but she could see that the Boy liked her for he was very kind to her.  But the Girl was weary and guarded.  The burden of her icy Texas-sized heart had made her very tired.  Nevertheless, the Boy continued to be nice to the Girl and, for some reason, she did not tell him to let her be.

Many more days passed and the Boy and Girl became friends.  The Boy could see that the Girl had a Texas-sized heart hiding deep within her.  He could see that it had been shattered and was delicately held together by the covering of ice.  For other boys, seeing the condition of the Girl’s heart might have frightened them into giving up on the Girl.  But this Boy would not give up, for the Magic of the Matchmaker had allowed the Boy to see something hidden deep within the tiny fissures and cracks of the Girl’s frozen Texas-sized heart: tiny, shining slivers of fiery red Hope.

So the Boy continued to be very nice to the Girl and soon the Girl noticed that the burden of her frozen Texas-sized heart was not quite so heavy anymore.  The Girl noticed that the more time she spent around the Boy, the lighter her burden became, as if the ice that had frozen her Texas-sized heart was slowly, slowly melting.  She even thought that one day she felt a bit of Hope flutter deep within her chest, like a newly born butterfly testing its fragile wings.

Then one day the Girl found that she could not feel the burden of her frozen Texas-sized heart anymore and she knew that it had thawed so much that the Hope had begun to seep into the cracks and fissures, healing and mending her Texas-sized heart back together.  When the Girl felt that her Texas-sized heart was whole enough, she took it carefully from the hiding place deep within her and timidly, cautiously offered it to the Boy.  For you see, the Girl knew she had found her One True Love.

At first, the Boy did not take the Girl’s Texas-sized heart and the Girl was confused and scared.  But then, slowly, the Boy reached deep within himself and took out his own Texas-sized heart, which had been bundled with a protective wrapping, for it too was bruised and beaten though not frozen.  The Boy held his bruised heart out to the Girl and said, “I will take your heart and protect it if you will keep and protect mine.”

And the Boy and Girl exchanged their patched-up, Texas-sized hearts and did not hide them away but displayed them proudly for each other.  Then the Boy gathered the Girl in his arms while Tears of Joy rained down from the Girl’s eyes.  For you see, that is what happens when boundless hope fills a Texas-sized heart to overflowing.

The Girl said YES!