Deep Breath

To say that I am overwhelmed is an understatement.

From the time I was a little girl I dreamed of my wedding. Except for a few bitter years in college and law school, my wedding was one of my biggest dreams. When Lobster and I started to fall in love, that dream started to rise up from the depths of my heart again and I allowed myself to begin hoping that one day it would come true.

Now here we are on the cusp of the beginnings of my dream come true. And I've suddenly come to understand one thing I never realized before in all my childhood fantasies...

Holy mother of pearl, weddings are flippin' expensive!

*Begin Rant*

I mean, really. What makes an empty room with a bunch of tables and chairs worth $3,000 just for the privilege of using it for four hours? And what exactly is it about a white dress that makes it five times more expensive than a dress of any other color? Is it sprinkled with magic fairy dust? Will it make my boobs grow or melt the fat off my hips? Well, then sign me up! Otherwise, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

Maybe this wouldn't be so mind-blowing to me if my parents were taking care of the financial burden of a wedding but I don't expect them to. This is my wedding. Why should my parents go into debt for a one-day event? I think it's ridiculous for ANYONE to pay this much money for what really amounts to a big party. Yes, of course I want all the wonderful things that all other brides want. This is a once in a lifetime deal for me; I want it to be beautiful, I want it to be memorable, I want it to be elegant, I want it to ROCK.

But, it really makes me angry that this whole wedding industry essentially rapes people of their hard earned money by jacking up the cost of everything simply because its a wedding.

So the question is: how do I orchestrate an elegant, beautiful, memorable, rockin', but CHEAP wedding? Is it even possible?

If this is how they want to play, I'll play. I'll put my gameface on. I am not a pleasant person when I have my gameface on. I will take no prisoners. I will not be investing one cent of my hard-earned money until these people, the vendors, prove to me that their location, cake, dress, photos, food, etc. is worth every penny. So far I have seen nothing that has justified such costs.

If all else fails, I am not above taking my money to the nearest tropical island and paying some random preacher to say the magic words.

*End Rant*

Deep breath.